Alone in the Crowd...

WOW,The tittle is misleading..it does sound philosophical..but iam not going to write anything that is even remotely so!

Its been two weeks since I thought of the title but..words stopped its flow the moment I started to write..Guess sometimes expressing a thought through words is not so easy..So let me just tell you the story that led to the thought and l will leave you to do your thinking and reflection.

Well...it was the Dassera time and I was on my way to office..The train was as crowded as usual and everyone was in their own world..some reading ,some chatting,some just lost in their thoughts...I was also lost in some random thought when a little girl around  8-10 years of age hopped into our compartment..she was in her school uniform and very neat unlike hawker kids and so I was surprised when she took out a box from her bag that had some bangles,cosmetics and so on and  started walking around the compartment looking out for prospective buyers..Must say that she was smart business lady... She gave the right reasons to people as to why they should buy and what they should buy,she was very smart when it came to bargaining..and she knew very well how to use her cuteness to her advantage..Once she was done with her rounds she neatly put all her stuff back in her bag and sat down near the door..one of the passengers started enquiring about her whereabouts..With a very serious tone which had a strange innocence about it..she said that its her daily routine..her mother sells bangles in trains and stations and does other odd jobs like cleaning and manages to sent her and her little brother to school..Her mother wants her to become a teacher..but she wants to help her mother too..So every morning on the way to school and evening on her way back, she shares some of her mother's work...She ended her talk by saying that one day she will become a good teacher and then her mother will never have to work soo hard...And then silently got up as the next station was approaching and she needed to move on to next compartment..

Love in the time of cholera...a strange love story

Love in the time of cholera   is a beautiful  love story written by Gabriel Garcia Marquez..It takes you through a whirlwind of emotions..Happiness, longing ,fear, pain, hatred and a whole lot of confusing situations..

Set in an unknown Caribbean city, the book takes you through the changes through out the  life of Florentino Arizo, Fermina Daza and Dr. Juvenal Urbino..It starts at a stage where all are in the eve of their life and then certain circumstances  push on the story to a 50 year flashback to the time of cholera..

Florentino Arizo,only son of an unwed mother,and a young apprentice telegrapher with a flair for love poems..fell head over heels in love with Fermina Daza ,The daughter of a mule driver who became rich by unscrupulous means,  first time he saw her...and he started his pursuit to gain her attention and love,in which he succeeded and Fermina too started longing to read his long and hopelessly romatic letters and to catch his glimpse on her way to school...till the day her father discovered their secret affair and took her away.. They maintained their correspondence through secret telegrams..and Fermina felt that she was burning in passion and longing to meet her love..By then they had even decided when and where they will get married... But when she returned back home and he was there in front of her..It just took her a glimpse to realize that what she mistook to be love was just a childish infactuation and a stupid confusion that was cleared by the freedom of thought the journey away from home had given her and she told Florentino that this was the end..She later married Dr. Juvenal Urbino , not out of love but convenience...But was not the end of their love story but the beginning of fifty one years, nine months and four days of  Florentino 's wait to win her back...

The author then takes you though time and events that took place in next half a century in the life and minds of these three characters.Fermina and Juvenal finds and loses and then again finds love and contentment in their marriage that was a little diminished in the last years of their life due to the confession of an illicit affair by the doctor..but they reunite and find peace in coexisting and searching to find traces of their love..while Florentino searches for peace and freedom from thoughts of Fermina in the arms of many beautiful women..young and old ,unmarried,married and widowed including a very disturbing relationship with a  14 year old (For whom he was supposed to be a guardian!)when he was in his 70's..but in the end realizes that he is too selfish in his love for Fermina that he can never accept anyone else or be faithful to anyone else ...

And when Dr. Juvenal Urbino passes away in an accident while trying to retrieve his prized parrot from the mango tree ... Florentino Ariza,who by now was the chairman of RCC shipping company, seizes the opportunity and proposes to Fermina Daza at her husbands funeral...Wrong timing right? Well..Fermina shut the door at him asking him never to return( in her own words.. "don't show your face again for the years of life that are left to you . . . I hope there are very few of them."..)..But it does not end there... he continues with  his letters and slowly Fermina realises the intensity of his love and maturity of his thoughts(well i still debate this.)..and she accepts his proposal...

I call it a strange love story because I am not sure if someone can love anyone with so much passion that they fail to notice the passing time..they fail to notice their greying hair..they fail to notice the injustice they do to others in their selfish pursuit of love....It took me a long time to complete reading this book....if you ask me how it was..though  I dont agree with the glorification of  Florentino's affairs and would never ever want a lover like Florentino...I loved the story and emotions it took me through....it was a beautiful..strange love story..

                                   

How Grand pa met Grand ma...

This is my favorite story...And  every time I get a chance to narrate it to anyone interested,I re-live the excitement that I had when I first heard the story from my grand aunt(My grandma's elder sister).

Am not aware of the right time-lines these events took place..guess it should be around 58 years or so before based on the age of my eldest aunt..

My great grand father was a feudal land lord  and an art teacher in Kerala .My great grand mother was his second wife and they had five children and my Granny was the third one..Her elder sister was married of quite early and she and her husband was settled in Singapore then...During the course of his business interactions,her husband met this sufficiently rich unmarried gentleman who was doing very well in his work front,but was lonely as he had left this home and family back in Kerala years back..This gentleman slowly became a regular visitor at their house and became like a member of their family..And My Grand Aunt took it as her responsibility to ensure that this good man finds a suitable bride and get settled in life (She says that she was afraid that he might find a Singaporean or Chinese wife..What a loss it would have been!).

With this noble cause in her mind,She sent across the details of this person to her father back home and asked him to forward this proposal to one of her cousin sister,who was already in her 30's and hence apt for this man in terms of her age and was other wise also a good match..But her father had other plans..When he went through the proposal,he replaced his third daughter in place of the cousin as the bride..The only issue was that she was only 19 and the bride-groom 44..but it was difficult to get a such a good 'boy' with out making any compromises right? Age was anyways such a small issue..

So he replied back to his daughter with a photo of his other daughter(Which my granny says was her first photograph ever and a photographer came home to take it, as till then she was not allowed to travel outside the house except for temple visits) enclosed in the envelope..After few initial debates ,the elder daughter also agreed to dad's idea and showed the photo to the 'boy' ..Looking at that photo,I guess I know why there was not much resistance from that side..

The issue of bride was resolved , but there arose a new issue..Where will they get married ? Bride and family was in Kerala and the Bride groom in Singapore ..And he was not ready to go to Kerala then..My great grand dad found a solution to this also..he said why bother coming here, we will sent the bride to Singapore and the wedding will take place there..So it was decided that the bride,accompanied by her elder brother will take the ship to Singapore and the the ceremony will take place at bridegroom estate there.The elder brother ran to the tailor to get his coat sticthed and started preparing for his first trip abroad..as far as the bride was concerned..she should have been fighting mixed emotions of fear, longing and god knows what..(but till today she always told me that she was blank then..) no one had even asked her opinion..

Things went as decided except for a small twist..great grand dad decided that he should accompany his daughter and not his son..and uncle's new coat..never saw its way outside the cupboard(heard that he was upset about it for along time ;))...My Grandma who had till that day never even ventured out to the city from her village,took a ship to Singapore and the very next day of landing there was married of to Grand pa..

Now If you are wondering what happened afterwards...Well its sweet..They had a long happy married life with 6 healthy children..Fourth one being my father..And after my father was born they decided to come back and settle in India..And my father celebrated his first birthday in the ship on their way back...

TOTTO CHAN IS A MUST READ GUYS !!!! HERE IS A SUMMARY FOR YOU

Totto Chan : The Little Girl at the Window

By Tetsuko Kuroyanagi

Translated by Dorothy Britton

Tottochan: the little girl at the window is a delightful memoir of Tetsuko kuroyanagis's childhood at Tomoe Gakuen,the wonder school.This is one book that will remain in your mind for a long time after reading it.

Tottochan as Tetsuko was fondly called,was taken to Tomoe Gakuen,a school for special children , by her mother because she was expelled from her other “proper” school in first grade , for being a distraction to the rest of the class.Mother was worried whether the new school will understands that her daughter is just a curious little girl who though is careless about the world around and lives in her own little world, loves everything and everyone around her and never wants to do any harm to anyone. Tottochan on the other hand was unaware of being expelled and was looking forward to her new school and with the gates that grew, rail road cars for class rooms and a head master (who according to Tottochan should be a station master!) who allows you to talk about anything you want..she had no second thoughts, she loved Tomoe Gakuen and she loved Mr. Kobayashi, the head master.

Mr.Kobayashi was an exceptional teacher,who had very clear vision,that his school will impart knowledge to children in a way that they will all love.He made sure that the overall development of the child is taken care of.He ensured the every child had nutritious food(the parents had to include in their children's lunchboxes "something from the ocean and something from the hills." everyday). He knew every student inside out and he never scolded them, still the students understood what is expected of them and they behaved the right way.They all loved their train classes,the afternoon walks,farming lessons,field kitchen,music time and swimming hours.They all loved the fact that they could start the day with their favourite subject.They all accepted and accommodated the handicaps in their friends.They learned to respect each other and the world.No book or teacher taught them that..this was just a way of life at Tomoe Gakuen and all of them found joy in every thing they did there.

The events at world war II led to the shut down of Tomoe Gakuen and Tetsuko moved to another school,but years after when she became a an internationally famous actress, a talk show host, a best-selling author WWFN advisor, and a UNICEF goodwill ambassador, she does not fail to acknowledge the role Tomoe Gakuen played in her life.If not for Tomoe Gakuen and Mr. Kobayashi,she would never have been able to understand herself and her potentials.

The book ,written in simple language as a narrative of day to day events as seen through the eyes of a little girl, took me back to my school days and I so wish that my school was like Tomoe Gakuen,Some day we would have more such schools were all realise that every child is special and are given the freedom to discover, learn and grow.

This book is a must read!You will all love meeting the Totto chan-the little wonder,her patient and loving mother , and her class mates and Mr Kobayashi is sure to win your heart too.